There are distinct differences between a ‘lifelong friend’ and a ‘friend for a lifetime’. A lifelong friend is a person you’ve known for a long time, for your lifetime. The emphasis in this label is placed on time (longevity), not on type or depth of the friendship. A friend for a lifetime is a friend first and foremost, the kind of friend that can endure the ups and downs of a lifetime together. Someone that once they enter your life, they will never leave.
The length of time that a friendship has existed certainly has an impact, for over time we have a multitude of experiences together, which build upon themselves to create a shared history. But the qualities that really makes a friendship last a lifetime include mutual respect, lack of judgement, open communication, and unconditional love.
I met one of my “for a lifetime” friends 23 years ago in Washington, DC. I didn’t realize the difference she would make in my life when I first laid eyes on her. How could I? I had already decided I didn’t like her the moment I met her. I was a co-manager at a national clothing store, working my way towards a promotion to store manager. Sue relocated from Georgia where she had already earned the position of store manager for this same chain. I felt threatened by her and was angry at her for messing up my career track since her experience would bump her ahead of me in line for the next store manager position.
Thankfully, she made it impossible for me to not fall madly in friendship with her! Her energy, positive attitude and sense of humor made her irresistible. While my head was telling me one thing (she’s a threat), my heart knew we were supposed to be friends.
The first few years of our friendship were easy since we lived near each other and worked for the same company. After 3 years, I relocated about 200 miles away, but it felt like I had moved across country. Even with the distance, we were both able to periodically make the 3-4 hour drive to get some girl time together.
Ten years later, Sue did move across country, from Virginia to Kansas. I knew the geographic separation was far enough that maintaining our friendship would be challenging, but not impossible.
We continued to share in each other’s lifetime milestones, but the distance began to chip away at the part of a friendship that is solidified from sharing the mundane, silly and trivial parts of every day life. We had a choice to make. We could let the friendship slowly dissolve due to circumstances, or we could be intentional about our relationship in order to maintain a “friendship for a lifetime”.
So we did the only thing we could think of given our situation, we started scheduling a monthly phone call – a girlfriend appointment. Our conversations last upwards of 2 hours (ok – maybe a little longer), and even then, we aren’t really done talking. We just force ourselves to bring the conversation to an end so as not to neglect the other responsibilities in our day. I know with certainty that our consistent communication with each other has been the glue that has kept our friendship strong.
As fate would have it, Sue lives less than an hour away from where Silpada holds their national conference, which kicks off later this week. I’m catching a plane to Kansas tomorrow and I don’t have to limit my next conversation with Sue to just 2 hours. We get 24 hours together, and chances are, we’ll still have things to talk about when our time runs out!
A friendship for a lifetime is a gift!
When people enter our lives, we have no idea how long they will stay, or what impact they will make on us. Each of us are only one half of a relationship. We can’t force a friendship to be one that lasts a lifetime. But when we find ourselves fortunate enough to be in a relationship with the potential to last a lifetime, we have to nurture it.
Do your friends know how important they are to you? Communication doesn’t have to be a 2 hour phone call. It can be a text, an email, a facebook message or a hand written note. The act of staying in communication can be the difference between a life long friend and a friend for a lifetime!
with Joy & Gratitude,
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